Don't burn your bras...just yet.

I miss my Victoria Secret Ipex bras.

After learning about my diagnosis (invasive ductal carcinoma) and weighing all my options, I decided to go with a double mastectomy as my form of treatment. My mom beat breast cancer twice. It was kind of a no brainer for me. The surgeon thought I would be fine with a lumpectomy and radiation, but this is what went through my mind...

• My mom got it. She treated it with lumpectomy and radiation.
• My mom got it again. Same treatment.
• I am relatively young (47 at the time)
• My aunt got it young too (40).
• My aunt's came back with a vengence.
• It killed my aunt.
• I have young kids (13 and 16)
• I don't want it coming back
• I don't want to have to deal with this again - or at least reduce my chances as much as possible

Once I made this decision there was no turning back and I experienced emotion after emotion.

• Fear
• Loss
• Anger
• Sadness
• Lonliness

One of the things I did just a few days before my surgery was I rounded up all my Victoria Secret Ipex bras and threw them all in my bathtub. There was a pool of bras. I didn't realize how many I had. At least 15. Maybe more. My thought...they won't fit me again anyway. I donated them to my cousin who came from Illinois during my recover to help with my family. They didn't work for her, so she donated them to the women's shelter.

Now that all was said and done...my breast were removed, my breasts were reconstructed, I realized what a mistake I had made. I asked my plastic surgeon for a smaller size (I was a 36D in the Ipex) such as a 36C or even B.

I must have left two of my bras in the laundry somewhere because I still have two of my 36D Victoria Secret Ipex bras and they still fit perfectly. It was the only bra I could find that fit pre-mastectomy and now the only one that fits post-mastectomy. Great bra, great fit!! So now, the remorse I have for giving up my upwards toward $500 worth of lingerie is painful. The only consolation is that they were donated to a good cause. Too bad it was not my cause because now due to our financial situation I cannot afford to buy one of the Victoria Secret Ipex bras. Also, I think the particular style has been discontinued.

If you are ever in my situation, hang on to your bras. If you must, just pack them up in a box and store them in the attic, at least for a year. Then decide.