Last year, I went through the experience of a hysterectomy and I was blessed to have had my sister come and help me out during my recovery. This past week I was able to return the favor since she had the same surgery two weeks ago.As a woman, I find it so hard to submit myself to the care of others or to let people help me. When I had to do this in August of 2008 and then again two months later when I had a mastectomy due to breast cancer, I found myself struggling with being able to let people take care of me and help me with my responsibilities.
This past week, I found it very interesting to find my sister in the same struggle. As I cared for her young children, tended to her needs, and cleaned her house she continued to feel guilty. A feeling I know so well.
I would much rather be the one helping and taking care of someone, but it was a great learning lesson to be on the other side. One of the things I learned was how to be better on the care giving side. Also, I realized that as much as I want to help others, others wanted to help me. It was my gift to them to let them. Just as it was my sister's gift to me to let me take care of her.
My husband had a craniotomy a year and a half ago to remove a tumor. During that time both my boys were diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome. I HAD to learn to ask people for help. I still don't love doing it, but I couldn't have done without it. And I help in return...so why is it so hard to keep from feeling guilty?
ReplyDeleteI miss my sister so much it hurts...although it was hard to have her take care of me...I enjoyed more than anything just spending time with her. I was having a hard time mentally with this recovery and she was there to share her advice and previous experiences. I am so blessed that I have a sister and that we are so close. She truly is my other half...I don't know what I would of done without her...she is so precious to me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I love you.
ReplyDeleteYou are very lucky to have eachother. I hope your sister recovers soon.
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Your sister and you are very lucky to have each other to help each other out. Hope you sister heals soon.
ReplyDeleteA Very moving post I must say. I have to say you are right. I didn't understand at first, but when I "got into church" after being out for a very long time, I learned that when you help others it is a blessing on both sides. I was told once after "refusing" the offer of help from someone, that I was "denying them their blessing if I didn't let them help me. I have never done that since. If someone wants to help me, I let them, and I have even seen the blessings which they received. It's awesome when you start noticing these things.
ReplyDeleteGod Bless!
PJ
Very true. It is very hard when you are an independent woman to allow others to do things to help you. That is our trial as women! I still struggle having anyone help me, but I think it is pride, so I am really working on it. Do you want to come clean my house too? LOL
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